Wedding invitations

One of the most common topics discussed on The Knot's discussion boards is invitations. Questions abound: who to list as the hosts, how to write out the date, whether response cards are necessary. People get really worked up over these things. At least twice a week there'll be a posting along the lines of, "Help! My printer needs the wording in an hour! Can someone write my invitation?" A lot of this stress is really unnecessary. People freak out over minor points of etiquette and could do well to just chill out.

Did you know that so-and-so "requests the honour of your presence" is only for church weddings? Did you know that you're supposed to spell it honour, even though it's pure affectation? I didn't. Now maybe I'm just a philistine that knows nothing about etiquette, but the very fact that so many people don't know about this sort of things means that the people receiving the invitation won't know about it either. Brides-to-be flatter themselves by thinking that guests will notice this sort of thing. And even if they do, chances are they won't care.

Did you know that you're never supposed to put information about attire on a wedding invitation? Requesting "Black tie," is, apparently, rude and presumptuous. Etiquette mavens insist that people will be able to gauge the appropriate attire for an event based on the location, time, and style of the invitation. But clearly people put things like "Black tie invited" on an invitation because guests don't know these things.

If people on wedding discussion boards aren't acquainted with the finer points of invitation etiquette, their guests won't be either. It's fine if you want to have traditional invitations, but it's really not worth stressing over whether your guests think less of you for requesting the pleasure of their company for a church wedding. They won't notice and they won't care. So don't sweat it.